I didn’t start practising mindfulness because I had everything figured out. I started because I felt scattered—mentally ahead of myself, emotionally exhausted, and strangely disconnected from my own days.
Most of the time, I was either replaying something that had already happened or worrying about something that hadn’t. Even when life was relatively calm, my mind wasn’t.
The moment I noticed
There’s one ordinary moment I keep coming back to, one ordinary afternoon. I was eating lunch, scrolling on my phone, answering messages, half-thinking about what I needed to do next. When I finished, I realised I couldn’t remember tasting a single bite.
That moment stuck with me. It wasn’t dramatic, but it was honest. I felt strangely disconnected. I realised how much of my life I was rushing through on autopilot. It wasn’t a big realisation, but it was an honest one: I wasn’t really there for my own life.
Not long after that, I tried a short mindfulness exercise—just sitting and paying attention to my breath for one minute. It felt awkward. My mind wandered constantly. But something else happened too: for that minute, I wasn’t chasing thoughts or fixing anything. I was simply present. And that was unfamiliar in the best way.
What mindfulness means to me
Mindfulness, as I understand it, is the practice of paying attention to what’s happening right now—without judging it or trying to change it immediately.
It doesn’t mean being calm all the time. It doesn’t mean having a quiet mind. For me, it means noticing when I’m lost in my thoughts and gently returning to the moment I’m actually in.
Sometimes that moment is peaceful. Other times it’s uncomfortable. Mindfulness doesn’t ask me to prefer one over the other—it just asks me to notice.
How it’s helped
Mindfulness hasn’t removed stress from my life, but it has changed my relationship with it. I’m more likely to catch myself when I’m spiralling. I’m quicker to pause before reacting. I listen a little more carefully—to others and to myself.
Small things have shifted:
- I notice when I’m rushing unnecessarily
- I recognise emotions instead of fighting them
- I experience more of the day instead of mentally skipping through it
These changes are subtle, but they add up.