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You might notice it happening in a way that feels confusing, even frustrating. You meet someone you genuinely like. There’s a sense of connection, maybe even excitement about where things could go. For a while, things feel natural. Then, something shifts. As the relationship begins to feel more emotionally important, you might find yourself pulling back. Messages go unanswered a little longer. You feel less sure about making plans. Conversations that once felt easy begin to feel harder. Part of you might be asking: “Why am I doing this when I actually care about them?” When closeness starts to feel...

You might notice it happens almost automatically. A message takes a little longer than usual to arrive, and your mind begins to fill in the gaps. “Have I said something wrong?”, “Are they losing interest?”, “Did I come across too much?” Before long, you’re replaying the last conversation, re-reading messages, and trying to work out what might have changed. Even when part of you recognises that nothing significant has actually happened, it can still feel difficult to let go of the thoughts. The uncertainty lingers, and with it, a sense of unease. If this feels familiar, you’re not alone. Many...

You might notice a pattern where you feel the need to check that everything is okay. Perhaps you ask if someone is upset, if they still care, or if the relationship is alright. When they reassure you, there’s often a sense of relief, but it doesn’t always last. Before long, the doubt returns, and with it, the urge to check again. The cycle of reassurance From a CBT perspective, this can become a repeating cycle. Something small changes—a tone, a delay, a brief interaction—and a thought appears: “Something isn’t right”. That thought creates anxiety. Asking for reassurance feels like the...